I've met someone else. His name is Q and he has a lot to offer me. He has two bedrooms and two bathrooms, all of which have locks and nice smooth walls. Walls that have not been pounded with cell phones and fists (what? i was angry!). The cold water doesn't scream at me every time I turn it on, the hot water heater doesn't gurgle, and I'm pretty sure the power won't go out seven times while drying my hair. The ceiling doesn't bow and the mantle doesn't have a large ash mark above it (ok, that was my fault). The lady below Q doesn't have a cigarette glued to her mouth and her son likes dogs, so I'm FAIRLY certain she won't be calling the cops on me anytime soon. I suppose I should give her the benefit of the doubt. If a dog peed on me from the upstairs porch, I might be a little frustrated as well. Most importantly, he doesn't smell like pee. You should really consider bathing. Sure, we've had some good times together. Remember that time when you, Hamp, Breanne, Winston and I danced to Sisqo.
Or what about the numerous Ohio State/Duke football games we watched together. You'd always comfort me after a long day at work with your reliable A/C and your serenity at night. You were a great host when I invited guests
over and you created a great venue for late night Wii. I really wouldn't mind playing this out to see where it takes us but Breanne said she wouldn't share a bed with me and my couch is beginning to smell like pee so she's not willing to negotiate. I hope we can still be friends and you'll pick a nice couple to share your life with. I'm sorry I had to tell you this over blog but I think it's best. Take care.
Piece Out,
Lauren
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