Freeway Confessions

Yesterday I drove from Durham to Columbus after work.  I left around 6 and got in around 2:15am which left me much time to think...this is what I came up with:

1. A tank top sans bra and a skirt is not appropriate attire for a late night gas station stop in Virginia.  Remind me to put more thought into my traveling outfit next time.
   
2. Pandora in the car is the sweetest thing since....lollipops?
   
3. A 75 cent increase at each toll is absolutely absurd.  That's $6.  That's more than half of a $10 bill! 
   
4. The iPhone is the greatest invention of all time
5. Bad drivers are not regional.  They are everywhere.  Next time I say something like "North Carolina has the worst drivers", please correct me.  
6. Monster energy drink is Sparks without a purpose.  
7. Beef Jerky, Pringles, and gummy bears...I'm disgusting.
8. The only way to road trip is with a dog to your right, the windows down, and the music blaring.  There is no such thing as AC.
9. "Running Away" by Hoobastank could be the greatest jam out song of all time

Fungus

Ever since I started working at Gold's, I have begun to loathe towels - specifically the bath and sweat variety.  I have nothing against the beach towel.  I actually really enjoy a good beach towel, especially those big ones you can buy at wal-mart for like $5 (not the only $5 steal at wal-mart.  Look for a Michael Tomko blog coming out shortly about the $5 movie bin).  Anywho!  Initially when I started working there, folding towels was the highlight of my evening.  I mean, between scanning ID's and telling people they owe $200 in late fees, folding towels seemed almost enjoyable.  But the tables slowly turned when I started to accumulate fungus on my hands, legs, and face.  It's effected everyone.  I blamed Winston for months for giving me fleas.  He's still not speaking to me.  Who knew towels could be so violent?   

 

I mean, look at those towels!  I have no qualms about rubbing them all over my body.  Don't be fooled.  They might get you too.

I'm done.  Piece out.  

Nast

Apex peanut butter? CANDY "cookie".    

You disgust me.  I know it is 13 days past your expiration date but I hardly feel that is a valid excuse.  Your texture is actually surprisingly pleasant but you taste nothing like peanut butter which your packaging advertises.  Other than the little SHELLS of fat free, sugar free reese's pieces, I taste nothing that resembles candy.  And if this is what a cookie tastes like, well count me out.  No more cookies for ole' LB.  

And yet...I continue to eat you. 

Damn you, Coffee!

I was on a roll with basketball apps this morning! Sipping on some Foldgers when THIS happened!

Gasp! Note to self: never place coffee within a 10ft radius of my arms. They get a little crazy sometimes!

Winty-Baby

So...Winston spent the week with creepy Uncle Hamp last week and this is what happened to him...  

I know, I know.  It could be worse.  He could be dressed in Florida or USC apparel, you know, a team that is actually COMPETITIVE in college football.  But still, Clemson?!  Let's get real.  Everyone knows Winston is a buckeye.

God, I'm bored.  Piece out.

Just Sell It

Duggy...why do you run my wallet dry????  We used to be so happy together...

and now you tell me I owe you $500 at 60,000 miles?!  What's that?  Another $200 for your front brakes???!  $50 for an oil change?!!!!!  You hurt my heart.  

Rollerblades

Rollerblades are cool.  If you disagree, you are insecure and worried that others will judge you.  I've always known this but I was reminded of just how cool they are today; ergo I am secure, unafraid of judgement, and cool.  Upon stepping into my Saloman women's size 7.5 rollerblades, I immediately regretted leaving them jammed into the back corner of my closet for a whole entire year.  As I started on my journey down the bike path, I was continuously reminded of why I feel this way towards rollerblading.  My first encounter with a rollerblader was a very pleasant conversation about the insanely hot weather we've been having.  The second was a query about the difficulty of skating over the debris that lie ahead.  The third a simple smile and wave - this coming from the ever intense rollerblader with one hand behind his back, leaning forward with the other arm swaying back and forth in front of his body.  My point is, there is a camaraderie that exists between rollerbladers.  Bikers are too busy becoming Lance Armstrong and runners are too tired to acknowledge your presence.  Not only is there a bond that exists between one another but it's fun AND you can still feel the burn.  After all, how did you think I got this great ass?  Piece out.                                 

                                         

           Song of the week: "Echo" by Incubus

video taken from YouTube

Brief Absence

Whew!!!  What a week!  I can't believe I haven't blogged since Tuesday but it has been a ridiculously busy week in the Birnie household.  Since we last spoke, I was introduced to the greatest place in Durham, I acquired a roommate, I ran four miles and I went to Big Lots.  

My friend Tricia and I have made this plan to go to a different lunch spot every week.  She just graduated from Duke making her much more knowledgeable of where to eat other than Chipotle, Noodles and co., etc.  Last week

she introduced me to Park and Otis which could possibly be the coolest place I have been since living here.  Not only do they serve the best BLT (I actually know this for a fact), but they have $2.50 glasses of wine on Thursday, a nifty little 50's-esque store (pictured to the right), a coffee bar, and from what I can tell, pretty amazing desserts.  They also have an awesome outdoor seating area where you can actually bring dogs and if you know me at all, you know this is a huge bonus!  

Other than visiting Parker and Otis on a daily basis, I have been busy with moving apartments.  I know Breanne is going to get mad at me for throwing a pity party but it was without a doubt the hardest move I have had so far.  I had help from Gus and Brian moving the couch, w/d, etc. but I didn't realize how much shit (excuse my language) I have accumulated over the past year.  I also think I was extremely ill-prepared.  I had done 0 packing which resulted in thousands of trips made back and forth over the span of 24 hours.  I learned that a short move 

doesn't always mean an easy move and I have no business heaving 50lb televisions on top of dressers.  In the end, I'm pretty sure it was all worth it and I'm happy with the results.  This is a picture of my room although the bed is not made so it doesn't look nearly as swanky as it is in person.  Just take my word for it!  Winston seems to be enjoying his new abode.  I know this because he's eaten more than I've seen him eat in the past month and he hasn't peed on the carpet yet.  I won't hold my breath.  

I had so many other things to say but it's getting late and I know you are tired!  I have a great song of the week that I hope to share with you tomorrow.  Until then, have a lovely Tuesday.  Piece out.

picture taken from www.parkerandotis.com  

  

The Doghouse

Innocent or Guilty?

You tell me....

Serious Case of the Mondays

Definition:  Lauren Birnie, August 3, 2009  

                           

I have to tell you, until today, I didn't know what this meant.  Bad day?  It must be Monday.  Tired?  Of course you are, it's Monday.  Depressed?  Monday.  No, today was downright ridiculous.  I have to be at work at 8:30 (technically 8:15).  I woke up at 11.  It's not like I hit the snooze or I didn't feel good.  I legitimately didn't wake up until 11.  My dog was even passed out.  I wish I could say I'm really important at my job and without me that place wouldn't run.  Not true.  But today of all days I had actual responsibilities, all of which had to be done by 11 or at least started before 11.  I screwed up literally everything I touched.  On any other Monday, I would've cried.  Today I laughed.  

Here's to tomorrow.  Piece out.   

Adios

Dear J,

I've met someone else.  His name is Q and he has a lot to offer me.  He has two bedrooms and two bathrooms, all of which have locks and nice smooth walls.  Walls that have not been pounded with cell phones and fists (what?  i was angry!).  The cold water doesn't scream at me every time I turn it on, the hot water heater doesn't gurgle, and I'm pretty sure the power won't go out seven times while drying my hair.  The ceiling doesn't bow and the mantle doesn't have a large ash mark above it (ok, that was my fault).  The lady below Q doesn't have a cigarette glued to her mouth and her son likes dogs, so I'm FAIRLY certain she won't be calling the cops on me anytime soon.  I suppose I should give her the benefit of the doubt.  If a dog peed on me from the upstairs porch, I might be a little frustrated as well.  Most importantly, he doesn't smell like pee.  You should really consider bathing.  Sure, we've had some good times together.  Remember that time when you, Hamp, Breanne, Winston and I danced to Sisqo.  

                                              

Or what about the numerous Ohio State/Duke football games we watched together.  You'd always comfort me after a long day at work with your reliable A/C and your serenity at night.  You were a great host when I invited guests 

over and you created a great venue for late night Wii.  I really wouldn't mind playing this out to see where it takes us but Breanne said she wouldn't share a bed with me and my couch is beginning to smell like pee so she's not willing to negotiate.  I hope we can still be friends and you'll pick a nice couple to share your life with.  I'm sorry I had to tell you this over blog but I think it's best.  Take care.

Piece Out,

Lauren

The Latest Happenings

Happy Saturday!!!  I had big plans today...BIG PLANS!!! but the sun is not cooperating so I'm stuck inside with the boys.  Yea, they look cute but I'm not impressed.  You shouldn't be either.  Just a second ago, I thought Winston was finally acting like the lovely young gentleman I had trained him to be but that bone I thought he was chewing on was in fact a tampon.  Outstanding.  Last night 30 MINUTES AFTER LETTING THEM OUT, I came into the living room to Onyx peeing on the carpet.  Winston thought it would be a good idea to follow suit.  Needless to say, I'm running out of paper towels.  Thank God I'm moving in a week...I'm guessing I can forget my deposit.  Other than cleaning up puppy accidents, I've been completely occupied by The OC, season 1 and Starbucks iced coffees.  Only one day of working at Gold's this past week which made me feel downright worthless.  Football season starts in 34 days and I could not be more excited.  Conveniently, the USC/Ohio State game is the same weekend Duke has an away game at Army so that works out well for me.  Time to get back to the OC.  Seth Cohen has to tell Summer he's dating Anna! 

One more thing.  So, I know songs of the week fall on Wednesday but I'm really into this song right now and I really couldn't wait til Wednesday.  If you are as impatient as I am, go to the six minute mark and listen to the instrumentals.  Pretty unreal.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend.  Piece out!

                      

                            

O.A.R 52/50